You Want Me To WHAT?

The end of the school year. Parties, laughter, two weeks of standardized testing for the different grade levels. Wait a minute there. Two weeks of standardized testing?!?! They waited until the last few weeks of school for this? And then they asked me to try to keep 11 preschoolers, 11 three and four year olds who can apparently smell summer on the wind and taste it in the sunshine, 11 children who have rediscovered every old behavior I thought we had permanently destroyed, absolutely quiet on testing days. Apparently laughter was not the response they were looking for because it did not receive a warm welcome. Once I swallowed my mirth at the idea of somehow keeping that number of children anywhere near quiet at this time of year, we began to problem solve. Since I am in no way able to predict when several of my children will burst forth into loud noise (either in joy or anger) the final decision was made that perhaps on testing days for the grades in our hallway it would be best if we spent as much time as possible outside. Compared to trying to keep the mob quiet, I can handle playing outside. We can play games, read under a tree, play on the playground, do sidewalk chalk, ride bikes, play with bubbles, go for a walk, take the water table outside, play ball, paint with water on the sidewalk and the building, pick wildflowers (weeds..shh, don't tell the kids), etc. What we can not do is control the weather and the fact that it is supposed to rain on some of the testing days. Um, we don't have a plan B here. Plan B is to keep them absolutely quiet and Plan B is about as likely to occur as me winning the Utah lottery. I have a feeling that I am going to receive a lot of intra-building calls telling me to keep my kids quiet and I will ask for volunteers to come on down and try to keep a preschooler quiet. The Prize? Your very own preschooler on testing days. Because short of feeding them candy until they explode, or letting them quietly destroy the building, there is no way to keep them silent. I wonder if the principal would let us come play in her office for a while? :) I am sure there are plenty of neat things there that would help us stay quiet. We have already worn out our welcome in the library, the computer lab is just a bad idea altogether, and the gym is taken all day for the older kids. I may resort to popcorn and videos for at least a few minutes of guaranteed quiet - that is if no one steals anyone else's popcorn, if no one touches or looks at anyone else, if everyone agrees on the same video, if everyone can see, and if the air currents remain absolutely stable. It is like herding cats through a waterfall, and trying to keep them quiet while doing so. But the kids? They are so much fun right now as we ride bikes, make kites, play in water, play dress up (I wore butterfly wings all day last week because they asked me to and I am totally willing to look like an idiot if it encourages language and social skills), make rapid new understandings (community helpers connected for everyone in so many ways), explore the world around them, discover things outside for the first time or all over again (bugs! caterpillars! dirt! leaves! flowers! birds! blades of grass! puddles! rocks!), and show off a year's worth of learning and personality. Even with the behaviors coming back (they are ready for a break), this is the best time of year because they have come so far and made such progress. And like today, their behavior was awesome! Still, I have to ask, when it comes to keeping them silent, you want me to WHAT?!?

The List Goes On

Yet another installment of Comments from the Classroom.

We have some of the oldest windows in existence in our school building and for some reason when they were installed it was decided that it would be a wonderful idea to place them right at the level of a small child's reach and our kids have all figured out how to unlock them and open them.

PM Teacher: Joseph, are you touching my windows?
Child (who is clearly trying to open the window): No touching the windows!
Teacher: Do Not touch the windows! Windows are for teachers only.
Child: Just say no...to windows!

Child (after being poked in the eye with a piece of grass while rolling down a hill): Well, that wasn't supposed to happen.

Me (to a child I am "torturing" by encouraging them to use their hands): Yes, I know. I am the mean one and you are the cute one. But cuteness only gets you so far in life.

Becca(to another child): Andrew, your princess is in distress. Come rescue me!
Andrew (wearing a fire fighter's hat): whoo-oo! whoo-oo! Fireman Drew! Fireman Drew! Whoo-oo! Whoo-oo! Fireman Drew! Fireman Drew! I save you!

Me: Drew, do you want two blue (jelly beans) or three blue (jelly beans)?
Drew: Two blue.
Me: Are you sure?
Drew: Yeppie! Two blue!!

New Favorites

These little guys are the "new favorites" on the playground at school. Sure, they may be determined to destroy a few of the trees, but who cares when it means that there are thousands of bugs for little ones to catch crawling all over everything? My kids chase these and catch them with the seriousness, and narration style, of the Crocodile Hunter. I laugh when a few of them then scream because they actually caught one (like it moves that fast?). I rescued this one from the "love" of a preschooler and returned him to higher ground after photographing him. You can't save them all...
The Farmer's Market is not a "NEW" favorite, but a returning favorite that is finally open again after closing for winter in November. Fresh fruit, vegetables, local honey, fresh cheeses, homemade bread, spices and teas, flowers, etc. It is just fun to walk around and see all of the bright colors, all of the things that are fresh and crisp, all of the plants, and all of the different things being sold.






Bubbles are a "New favorite" with scented bubbles, catchable bubbles, and a new bubble-blowing machine making their way into our classroom in the past few weeks. With nicer weather, we are sneaking out the playground a little earlier (which preserves whatever passes for my sanity anymore) and these often come along. We have a few rules though - teachers blow the bubbles (we had a few to many fights over the bubbles - and a few too many notes home explaining scratches, bruises, and pissed off kids) and only teacher's touch the bubble machine (you know, I like to send kids home with the same number of fingers they came with. I am odd that way). Also, you can not pop a bubble on a friend. Trust me, it will not be appreciated. Finally, the last rule is that you MUST have fun! :) Even mean dictators of preschool classrooms have weaknesses and mine include bubbles.

Classroom Conversations

Not only is teaching, or at least my specialty area of teaching, a full contact sport (and I have the bruises to prove it!) but it is often an improv act at a comedy club. We don't mean for it to be that way, well - not all the time anyway, but it quite often is just by the nature of combining children and adults together in small spaces for extended periods of time. Below are some of my favorite comments, by children and adults, that I have been able to hear (or say) at school recently.

A teacher: "Yes, you could bury a dead body. What else could you bury?" (Well, they won't all go to college...)

Four year old student: "No! Some girls have girlfriends and some boys have boyfriends. So do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?"

Me: "Can you show me walking feet please?" Student: "No, I can't!" Me: "Well, your choices are walking feet or sitting bottom." Student: "I found my walking feet!"

Me: "Jenny, it's time to sit please." Jenny: "But I just HAVE TO DANCE!"

Student: "Do you know there is poop on the floor?" Me: "Yes." Student: "What are you doing?" Me: "I am guarding the poop so no one steps in it." Student: "You do know this isn't normal..." Me: "Yes, I know." Student:(muttered under his breath) "Mommy would NEVER let this happen at home!"

Kindergarten student: "Only babies touch their pee-pees."

Me: "Whose cold little hands are on my bottom and WHY are they there?"

Me: "I promise there is nothing in my pockets worth stealing!"

Me: "Who wants to be my helper and come pick up all the toys Jonny just threw out the window (again)?"

Me: "Kelly, pants stay on! Pants ON! In this classroom we all keep our pants ON!"

Me: "No drinking the paint! We don't have enough paint left for you to keep drinking it!"

And last (for now): "Me: If you are going to throw up, could you please TRY to get SOME of it on the tile?"