Classroom Conversations

Not only is teaching, or at least my specialty area of teaching, a full contact sport (and I have the bruises to prove it!) but it is often an improv act at a comedy club. We don't mean for it to be that way, well - not all the time anyway, but it quite often is just by the nature of combining children and adults together in small spaces for extended periods of time. Below are some of my favorite comments, by children and adults, that I have been able to hear (or say) at school recently.

A teacher: "Yes, you could bury a dead body. What else could you bury?" (Well, they won't all go to college...)

Four year old student: "No! Some girls have girlfriends and some boys have boyfriends. So do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?"

Me: "Can you show me walking feet please?" Student: "No, I can't!" Me: "Well, your choices are walking feet or sitting bottom." Student: "I found my walking feet!"

Me: "Jenny, it's time to sit please." Jenny: "But I just HAVE TO DANCE!"

Student: "Do you know there is poop on the floor?" Me: "Yes." Student: "What are you doing?" Me: "I am guarding the poop so no one steps in it." Student: "You do know this isn't normal..." Me: "Yes, I know." Student:(muttered under his breath) "Mommy would NEVER let this happen at home!"

Kindergarten student: "Only babies touch their pee-pees."

Me: "Whose cold little hands are on my bottom and WHY are they there?"

Me: "I promise there is nothing in my pockets worth stealing!"

Me: "Who wants to be my helper and come pick up all the toys Jonny just threw out the window (again)?"

Me: "Kelly, pants stay on! Pants ON! In this classroom we all keep our pants ON!"

Me: "No drinking the paint! We don't have enough paint left for you to keep drinking it!"

And last (for now): "Me: If you are going to throw up, could you please TRY to get SOME of it on the tile?"