Fruitcake with Nuts

For the past week and a half I have been the equivalent of a living Christmas Fruitcake. My family has been passing me around from place to place like the Christmas gift that you never really asked for but can't quite turn down either. Surprise, it's a fruitcake. Oh thank you, just what I always wanted. (whisper - we can pass it off to great Aunt Bertha. She deserves a fruitcake for Christmas.) Everyone is careful with the fruitcake, just in case anything happens that it should appear damaged and used (as if it is possible to actually damage a fruitcake), but no one really wants to hold onto it for too long in case it gets forgotten on top of the fridge only to be rediscovered some hot July day as you are searching for another bag of chips for the picnic. I, the fruitcake, have been shuffled from one place to another dragging behind me my little suitcase and cheerfully celebrating the holidays while accepting that I am one gift that will soon be passed on to someone else. As good old Ben Franklin said both fish and houseguests stink after three days...especially when you don't offer them a fair fighting chance at the shower before all the hot water runs out. But in this family, the fruitcake may have the upper hand. Because while I am being passed around, I am being circulated amongst a bunch of nuts. We put the "fun" in dysfunction and "screwed" in "screwed up". I am actually among the sanest and most normal in my family...that is one incredibly scary thought. Almost enough to make me click my bright red shoes together three times and say "anyplace but home". Then again, these nuts are my nuts and what is a fruitcake without nuts? Just another lonely fruitcake without anyone to keep it company. And this is perhaps the stupidest thing I have ever written - well, sober at least. Whatever! My christmas has been wonderful, fruit-cakey, and nuts but I would not want it any other way! Well, I could have done without my niece peeing on my suitcase and then knocking the Christmas tree over almost on top of me. And my father's dog sticking his tongue inside of my mouth.... but those are the nuts!