Too Good for My Own Good

My little ones are sweet, precious, wonderful children who are constantly planning to overthrow the establishment and create anarchy in my classroom. I am the establishment, so I have to work diligently and continuously to keep things at a steady level of something close to calm in order to preserve my position in the delicate structure of our classroom. Our classroom is not a democracy. It is a dictatorship, but a loving and kind dictatorship where I try to take input when possible but often must impose rules and regulations that the subjects hate in order to keep them safe. One example is the rule that no children may exit the classroom via the windows. This edict was not met with much applause or cheering, but the dictator feels that it is necessary because those windows are expensive to replace. Oh, and there is that issue of children tumbling to a rather nasty landing or getting stuck part way. Apparently my constant scrambling to maintain order at the price of actually doing my prescribed occupation, teaching, is becoming a detriment. I was supposed to receive another assistant in September. It is now January. That assistant has yet to arrive in my classroom, although this week the principal finally interviewed someone. I was pissed off enough about the situation but she pushed a few more buttons when she came into my classroom this week. Now I am using every skill, trick, and muscle I have to keep calm in my room and keep my subjects engaged in activities that do not involve bloodshed or rioting and it is exhausting. When I am asking about the second assistant and stressing the importance, she has the nerve to look out at my children, whom I have finally coaxed into a few minutes of calm just before she entered the room (but who will riot the minute I attempt to work with children in small groups or individually and this let down the constant patrol), and say "well it looks good in here. They are all playing so nicely." Urgh! Yes, but do you know the theatrics, the wrestling, and the constant patrolling that is required to achieve this state of control? If I turn my back, within 60 seconds at least 2 children will be crying because someone just smacked them upside the head with a toy, someone will be standing on top of the shelves, someone else will try to exit via window or door, and my current assistant will sit there like a moron watching it all. I am too good for my own good, because I can juggle 10 chainsaws without causing a massacre. I can stomp 10 fires and keep them from becoming an inferno. I can herd 10 cats through a waterfall. But I can not do those things and teach!! Maybe I need to stop being so good and let things fall apart so that they can see that I need help and they will stop taking advantage of me every single year like this? Or maybe I need to take up cat herding as a new occupation.